


my worth in your words

by mixtapestar



Series: Comfortween 2020 [7]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26878882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixtapestar/pseuds/mixtapestar
Summary: After Eliot sacrifices himself—his golem, at least—to save Quentin during their bank heist, Quentin makes sure to be there after he wakes up.
Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Series: Comfortween 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948594
Comments: 9
Kudos: 61
Collections: Comfortween 2020





	my worth in your words

**Author's Note:**

> For Comfortween Day 7: I'll Protect You!
> 
> Thanks as always to Hoko & Rubi!

After the first time Alice makes Quentin bleed as a Niffin inside his head, he decides to let her go free. There's nothing he can do to help her anymore, and he can't live not knowing exactly what she's doing while piloting his body every night. He just hopes he won't regret it.

He means to go back to the Physical Kids' Cottage after that, but with how much side-eye he's been getting from Penny lately, he just wants to escape. Plus, he's still worried about Eliot. So he pulls the button out of his bag and goes to Fillory instead.

Relief floods through him when he walks in to find Eliot, very much awake and speaking quietly with Margo while also dealing with a lapful of excited Fen. The moment looks so intimate, Quentin doesn't want to intrude. But then Eliot turns his head, his eyes meeting Quentin's, and he doesn't have an excuse anymore.

"Look who's back," Margo says with a watery smile, squeezing Eliot's hand before pulling away. Quentin approaches tentatively, not sure where he fits in this room full of Fillorian royalty. He once promised he'd come back and be a king, but he's not sure that's even an option anymore.

"Quentin. I'm glad you're okay," Eliot says, reaching out for him, and then Quentin can't help himself, he grabs Eliot into a hug, displacing Fen a bit in his eagerness.

"Fen, why don't we go get Eliot some food from the kitchens? Give these two a chance to catch up." Margo's eyes are dancing when they meet Quentin's. Quentin puts it down to happiness for Eliot's stability.

"How do you feel?" Quentin asks, perching on the edge of Eliot's bed. This time he takes the hand that Eliot holds out for him.

"Like I took the world's longest nap and still feel exhausted," Eliot says. "You?"

Quentin takes a deep breath in and shudders on the exhale. Compared to Eliot, who basically _died_ in the last few days, he should have nothing to complain about. "Not exactly well-rested myself." He studies Eliot's expression, stoic and caring, and resists the urge to reach out and trace his jawline. "I wanted to thank you. You basically took a bullet for me."

Eliot's shoulders lift up in an unassuming shrug. "In that moment, your life was worth more than mine."

"Why, because you were made of clay?"

"Right, of course, because I was clay," Eliot says unconvincingly.

Quentin's heart aches. He's no stranger to those types of thoughts. "Eliot—"

"You wanna tell me what really happened, with that super genius magic you pulled?"

Quentin tenses. He recognizes the misdirect when he sees it, but he can't help the worries it stirs up, blinding him to all other thoughts. God. Alice could be doing anything on Earth right now, while he's run off to Fillory, and it'd be all his fault. What was he thinking? He could've held out for a few more days, gotten some help in figuring out how to save her. He feels his throat burn with tears and tries to swallow the feeling away, tightening his hand around Eliot's.

A sharp but caring, " _Hey_ ," intercepts his thoughts, but it isn't until Eliot sits up in bed and pulls Quentin to his chest that he snaps out of it, remembering where he is and what he should be focusing on.

"Sorry," Quentin murmurs on autopilot. He doesn't deserve the warmth of Eliot's embrace.

"You're okay, you're here with me," Eliot says soothingly. "Whatever it is, we can figure it out. It's what we do, right?"

"You have enough problems without heaping on my bullshit," Quentin argues. He pulls away from Eliot, even though he wants to stay in his arms. "Margo was telling me about Loria. Maybe I can stay, help out with strategies, or like—"

"Q," Eliot cuts him off. "Margo and Fen are gone. This is one of the rare times I _don't_ have to talk about fucking _Loria_." He cards his fingers through Quentin's hair. "Talk to me."

So he takes a deep breath and brings Eliot up to speed with everything that's been happening with Alice. He doesn't skip over the fear or the guilt he feels about the whole thing, partially because he doesn't have the energy, and partially because it's Eliot, so he doesn't have to. By the time he's done talking, he's got tear tracks running down his face; he doesn't know how long he's been crying.

"You're not worthless or weak. You're one of the strongest people I know. After Margo of course." He wipes the tears from Quentin's face gently, then gives him a small smile. "It's amazing you handled it for as long as you did. Can you imagine me trying to live with a Niffin inside me? I wouldn't last a day. She'd insult my outfit and I would've let her go on principle."

Quentin laughs even as he says, "That's not true."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Eliot says. He smooths Quentin's hair down where he's tousled it, finally resting his hand on Quentin's good shoulder. Quentin can't help but lean into his touch.

"I came here to try to comfort _you_ after you fucking saved my life, asshole."

Eliot grins. "I am a kind and benevolent king. Be sure to mention that to some people before you head out."

"You really are, you know." He meets Eliot's eyes in the dim light and wonders what Eliot would do if he kissed him. It's not a new thought, but also not one he usually entertains while practically sitting in Eliot's lap. He parts his lips, his heart thrumming and telling him to just go for it, and Eliot's eyes seem to widen just slightly, but then the torchlight goes out, blanketing them in darkness.

"Fucking brownouts," Margo says, kicking in the door and returning with Fen. By the time the light returns, Quentin has returned to his perch on the edge of the bed, impulsive thoughts forgotten.

"I should go," Quentin says, staring at the floor.

"Q," Eliot begins, but Quentin keeps talking.

"I need to check up on Julia. Keep me updated on the Loria situation, okay?" He meets Eliot's eyes again briefly, unsurprised to find them cloudy and unreadable. He squeezes Eliot's hand. "I'm really glad you're okay."

And like the coward he is, he runs again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're unsatisfied with this ending, check back in about a week ;)
> 
> Comments are love! <3


End file.
